they moved forward and my heart died

whats past is past

Life is too complicated to contain and simplify, no?

am facing a psychological battle, attempting to overcome things, i know i cant control. i dont have much to offer and i know theres no need to dream about the things i know i cant have.

am trying to find happiness in a world that seems to be opressing and slowly falling apart,

am trying to find happiness in someone but that someone doesnt seem to understand. am i delusional?

i.am.torn.

i am torn between the life i knew and the one im trying to create. even though the future is very unclear, it still looks like freedom compared to the very recent past. ive made up my mind, now u make up yours.

a reminder

66 WEEKS TO MBBS FINAL EXAM

the time is now

*some pictures from obb preloved sale. 8th jan 2011 *

well hello hello!

(been MIA'ing for almost 3months now. time flies, huh?)

These past 3 months have been nothing but heaven! Been enjoying myself to the max! i almost forgot what it feels like, having absolutely nothing to worry about. You see, im a final year medical student. I spent most of my time studying. Especially during my 3rd year in klang. I was so focused on studying, i din have time to savour all the different flavours of life. I was so deeply entrenched in the daily buzz, comuting to and fro the hospital and studying my ass off for my 3rd year MBBS exam, i din really have the time to let loose. The only thing that kept me sane was god, and my baby :). seriously i would have commited a suicide if i werent strong enough! The tension was beyond madness! Seriously. Just the thought of it makes me feel all uneasy inside. Urgh.

Lets skip that stressful part and get back to the story on why i have been MIA'ing for so long. Shall we?

:)

okay so, finally after a series of non stop exams, i was able to live life, my life, like an actual human being! Had my minor posting for a month, electives for 2months and a month of PCM(primary care medicine) posting. So can u imagine how relaxing and free i was?? I cant even remember when was the last time i opened a book, let alone studied! LOL. Went back home every single day, enjoying the comfort of my own space. Aahhh such pure bliss. Did a whole lot of shopping, catching up with friends, activities after activities with tonnes of picturesss and managed to paint and decorate my room without any help from anyone! I was basically too busy enjoying life, i had no time to blog every single detail of everything. so i shall post pictures on my next few entries yea? haha. Life was pretty amazing in that short period of time. And that short period of time ends today!

i shall remember today for the rest of my life. because today, january the 10th, marks the end of my life. literally. its gonna be downhill from today onwards. my gynae posting starts today, which means i NEED to start studying my ass off. again. and it doesnt just end there. the cycle goes on and on and on till the day i die.

dont get me wrong, i like what im doing. seriously. but sometimes the tension is just too much. more than what i bargained for. *sigh* i might make it look easy for you, but the truth is, nothing compares to the stress us medical students & medical personnel(particularly HO andMO) are facing. that is why, a short break like these mean the world to me.

gosh, its 1.52 am now. whatdeheyyyyll am i doing here??? ok nanites girls. dont let the bed bug bites! xxx