i have been suffering from crying spells my whole life. i thought it was normal until recently i was so curious n i ended up 'google'ing it. after that long reading and googling i can finally conclude that i am suffering from a depression syndrome or maybe an anxiety problem. wow. now apart from my hypochondriac and lipoma i have all these new addition in my psychotic life. no wonder im so cracked up. no, seriously.
i wonder who can really understand me and help me go thru this all. i get emotional all of a sudden. i get angry very easily for no absolute reason. sometimes the little2 things cud set me on fire. i get upset very easily too.
hmmmmm i doubt sherhan can endure all these for long. weve been together for a year plus now. and i can see that hes not that type that will console u and make u feel all better. hes just not that type. hes not the type who will call u in the middle of the night just to talk to u for hours just to make u feel all better. he has his own way but hmm that upsets me all the time. just because hes not what i expected him to be. and when im upset, i will throw all these mean words just to reach out for him hoping he'll come and make things all better. but u see, its not as easy as 1,2, 3. whenever i throw all these mean words things will lead to a very messy fight. hmm, and sometimes to a point where im sick and tired of it. what started to be an innocent way of seeking for attention ended up to be this really huge and ugly fight. its tiring. seriously.
sometimes i just need that reasurrance like everybody else does. it doesnt hurt to spend 5 minutes of ur time to get all lovey dovey and say nice things like u dont have to worry cos ur the only person in my life whom i want to be for the rest of my life with. it doesnt hurt at all. or at least give such random call and it doesnt have to be long. just a simple i love u and i miss u wud be nice instead of giving me a text message. these might look simple to u but it leaves such big impact on me. i am that type of person who constantly need to be reassured. but no, ur so caught up in ur own little world to notice all these little2 things i am craving for. come to think of it, maybe u just dont put dat extra effort into this relationship. i dont know
like i said. im all cracked up.
xoxo
